Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Acid is not a monday night drug
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
