11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I heard we made out
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
this is an emotional support booty call
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
