It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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