D3 body, D1 cock
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is this like a preordered booty call?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
