dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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