I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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