Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
