I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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