i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm both gender and math confused
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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