Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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