we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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