So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I supernannyed him into submission
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
