Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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