Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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