Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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