He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
