the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
