You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
