We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
