Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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