You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
