Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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