She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
