you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
