he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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