I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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