Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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