do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
