i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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