Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
