In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
