I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize