how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
