i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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