Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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