Sry I called you an 8
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
