I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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