I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
