the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
