bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
