I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
