this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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