Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
