can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
