i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
