do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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