would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
