I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
