if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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