Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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