Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
